Man Up & Drink
Drinking is tied to masculinity ~ from the type of beer you order to how long you last. It’s part of the image.
The more you can power through a hangover, the tougher you are. Men are expected to handle hangxiety, and if it’s too much, hair of the dog is allowed.
But not wanting a hangover in the first place? That's often considered weak.
At Arclett, 35% of our community are men, and many have said the hardest part of being sober curious isn’t the actual alcohol ~ it’s the social pressure.
In male dominated spaces, not drinking can be viewed as boring, soft, or “not one of the lads.”
Some have said it’s practically impossible to say no to a drink (think rugby) without being made to feel like an outsider.
Women face tough social pressures too, but at least there is one socially acceptable out ~ I’m pregnant. For men, there’s no equivalent.
This isn’t just about alcohol. It’s about how masculinity is tied to toughness, risk taking, and emotional silence, regardless of the cost.
As of March 2024, men made up over 96% of the prison population in England & Wales (MOJ). Stats consistently show men are more willing to take risks, break rules and ignore consequences.
We’re taught control means managing alcohol. But could it mean removing it?
When men train hard, track macros, or run a marathon. That’s seen as discipline.
But when a man stops drinking for his health ~ mental or physical ~ that same discipline is often dismissed as weakness or considered preachy.
Not drinking for 10 years has been another tool in my life to improve my mental and physical health ~ like lifting weights, taking photos, spending time outdoors, eating better, or family time. But I’ve been criticised over the years for making that choice.
That’s because choosing not to drink isn’t neutral. It’s disruptive. And that makes drinking the easier option, because it’s the only part of the alcohol-use spectrum that isn’t challenged or stigmatised.
Within our community, we don’t measure masculinity by how much we drink, or how much pain we can hide.
But by our willingness to remove things from our life that no longer serve us.
