When I Stopped Drinking, People Took It Personally

When I cut down on drinking, I held up a mirror to everyone around me. I didn’t want to but it was part of being in a minority.

In 2013, everyone I knew drank. Unless you’d hit rock bottom, choosing not to drink was seen as extreme.

Alcohol had a divine right to be in our lives and saying no wasn’t neutral ~ it was disruptive.

I’d always dread having to explain why I didn’t drink because of the uncomfortable reaction. 

My decision to drink less, and eventually stop, started to trigger others. 

That’s when I first experienced projection ~ when people place their own fears, discomforts, or insecurities onto someone else ~ onto me.

Sometimes it felt like it was coming from a place of insecurity ~ maybe they were questioning their own drinking / feeling stuck, and wanting to make a change but not knowing how.

Sometimes I felt like it was coming from a place of fear ~ fear of change, fear of not understanding, fear of social disruption. 

That’s why people would say… “You have a superiority complex”, “You’re not that bad” or “You’re no fun.”

It took me a while to realise they weren’t reacting to me. They were reacting to my choice challenging something in them.

I first experienced projection when I started going to the gym. The criticism always came from people who didn’t train. They’d tell me I was obsessed or taking it too far.

Those comments weren’t about me ~ they were about how me going to the gym made them feel.

When 81% of people in England drink, projection is practically impossible to avoid.

I’ve never judged anyone for drinking, and when I hold up a mirror, it’s an unwanted byproduct of living differently in a country where alcohol is the norm. 

At first, I wanted to fly under the radar, because I didn't have my relationship with alcohol figured out and needed space without pressure or assumptions to do so.

But over time I’ve grown confident in saying this lifestyle choice works for me. 

Now I share my story, not to convert anyone, but because I know how isolating it can feel when you're questioning something that most people around you accept, encourage, and might not stop to think about.

I wanted to change ~ not challenge anyone. But I’ve learned that with alcohol, change is a challenge ~ to the systems, habits, and assumptions we’ve all inherited.

Living alcohol-free isn’t a judgement ~ but over the past decade, it’s been treated like one.

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Not Anti-Alcohol ~ But Pro-Choice