Beth ~ 1000 days

“This milestone feels to me like a type of renaissance. I now have a whole large chunk of time to look back and reflect upon. Who I was when I started all this and who I have become in the process of all this.

I remember in my first post here saying that I have grown into a confident woman who goes after her dreams. It's funny how what felt so certain back then has shifted tides again. I say that because as it turns out apparently, I wasn't dreaming big enough.

I remember at the start watching a modern wisdom video where Chris had quit alcohol for 1,000 days and he said the trajectory of his whole life transformed. It always felt like a million miles away from me but now I find myself in that exact same spot in life. He was right.

I have since allowed myself to dream bigger and tried to figure out a way to create something purposeful and meaningful in the online social media space. Where I was previously so content to stay hidden away in shame and silence, I'm now coming to terms with being more visible online.

I realised I could be a voice or force for good and I concluded it's either use it or lose it as a woman living today. I’m no longer comfortable with shrinking back to fit anyone's expectations or dim my light so people accept me. I believe this is the shift I’ve been needing my whole life to make.

I have consequentially collapsed so many false identities and masks I was hiding behind on this journey. Some masks of which I will never be able to put back on again. I think once you make this type of commitment you unlock a level of discipline that you probably had no idea you were capable of.

Through all this, the most authentic version and someone I've never been before has emerged. Being able to enter my 30s in this way (with more a solid foundation) has enabled me to look beyond what I think society wants me to do in this decade and instead consider what would bring more lasting inner fulfilment.

By being in pursuit of this above all else, I have unlocked a passion for fitness and calisthenics that has lit a fire in me that feels impossible to extinguish. So, I now look forward into the future, building my own online community of genuine souls on the same path and looking to pay it forward as much as I can.

That is what life is all about and when we take away the other banal distractions and nonsense, this is the conclusion we come to.

So now there's no more days spent watching everyone else go for it and wishing I could be braver and step forward. Here I am and I'm not going anywhere.

It's 1,000 days of sobriety and I'm 1,000 miles away from where I used to be.”